It's 5:21pm on a Sunday. It's just Moochi and me π©π»π While the furry one is snoozing on a big comfy pile of blankets, I'm lost in a train of thoughts. Mostly about random stuff. But some are important enough to take more seriously. Which made me realize that I don't really have anybody to talk to. One who won't judge me, criticize me, laugh at me, or give me advices which I don't ask. Or need. Just... Somebody to talk to, you know? Somebody who listens. There are always some risks. Hate. Love. Family. Friend. It's just too dangerous to be completely honest. Sometimes I imagine myself being a character in a movie who can just talk to a stranger. To a man who's sitting next to me in a train. A woman who's enjoying the same kind of piece of cake in a small cafe. A kid who's reaching the same novel I want to buy. Just... Somebody.
Now... I don't want to be ungrateful here... I do have a 15 going-on-16 years old daughter who's very sweet, loving and smart. She's also mature enough to be asked about serious matters. But many times I do think her opinions are subjective and most of the time... Well you know... More on my side π But don't get me wrong! If she doesn't agree with me she sure does show it. Loud and clear. Alhamdulillah π₯°
"If Cats Disappeared From The World" by Genki Kawamura. It's my first time reading a book by this author. The story is actually quite interesting and funny. There's a devil named Aloha! π But somehow I got bored in the middle until the last 3 chapters. Until Cabbage, the cat, starts to talk like a human being πΈ As I read the lines I imagined to be the guy in the book and Moochi as Cabbage.
There are also some lines which kind of hit me personally such as:
"Had I said all that needed to be said to the people who mattered?"
"But then again, human beings can never grieve their own death. Death is always something that happens to others around them."
"There's a limit to how well we know ourselves. We don't know what we look like to others, and we can't know our own future, and we can't know what our own death will be like."
and the last one is "I don't know whether I'm happy or unhappy. But there's one thing I do know. You can convince yourself to be happy or unhappy. It just depends on how you choose to see things."
Back to reality and I'm trying to count all the good things in my life. I lost count and I'm smiling. Why? Because it looks like that I have everything I need. Alhamdulillah. There's no reason for me to be ungrateful. I'm sitting on my dining chair, typing these words and I look around. And I'm still smiling. Even wider. And no, I'm not crazy π It's just we have all the things we need and want and more! An app from which we can order almost any food you want (as long as we have the money π€ͺ). A big television with 1 million channels. A giant comfy couch. An old piano which is still in a very good condition. A karaoke set with big speaker. And this and that.
The bad and the worse in my life? Well... I do believe that everything happens for a reason. Sounds cheesy but it's true. And I'm learning a lot from it. Whenever I hear somebody says something unpleasant I realize that it's best to keep it to yourself. Unless of course, you come across an asshole like this guy who's currently going viral because he spitted on a woman's car. In this case it's better to smack his mouth with a bucket full of horse shit.
So yeah... Whenever I feel lonely I close my eyes, I take a deep breath and I remind myself that it's okay to spend time alone. Hanging out with someone might turns out badly at the end. The kid who likes the same book as I do might be Damien Omen πΉπ€£ Just because I think it's the best, it doesn't mean that it's the right thing to do-to have-to say. Not for me nor anybody. And of course, I do remember. I have this handsome guy cuddling next to me:
Have a great holiday guys! π
